Some mornings I feel full of the Spirit, the Word fills me and speaks to me and I can feel His hand on me. Oh how comforting and strengthening these mornings are.
Other mornings I go through the same motions: I read my Bible passages, sit in prayer, but sadly don’t feel much of anything. These days my discipline feels more like compliance than talking to a close friend and being strengthened.
What is different between these days?
It isn’t God, He is always present and there for me. Psalm 73:23-24 says:
“Yet I am always with you; You hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.”
So it has to be me, right?
So what am I doing differently? I am reading my Bible, I am praying, and I am sitting there putting in a solid effort.
Am I reading too quickly?
Am I reading just because that is what I do in the morning?
Is there nothing I need at that moment- I’m completely full and nourished?
Maybe, possibly, and definitely not.
So what is different on the days I am nourished by the Spirit? These days I am…
- being patient and still
- having a genuine desire to be filled by the Spirit
- asking tough questions
- aware and feeling His presence and looking for his presence in the moment
Proverb 16:32 says:
“Better to be a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”
This resonates with me.
Patience… Or priority?
Patience comes down to priority doesn’t it? If you aren’t being patient in what you are doing there is something taking precedence or priority over your current action. WHAT?! What could be more important than my Spiritual strengthening for the day. This is a pretty easy question to answer when I ask it. So why I do I allow myself to be pulled into the day’s to dos, my email, my work, the latest book or blog, or something else instead of being patient and present in the Word and my prayers?
No clue… Just being aware of these external pulls helps to ground me and bring me back to the present and what I want my priority to be. Being still allows me to actually be aware of the always very visible and clear influence of Jesus on my life.
This morning while doing this meditation I was looking out the window and saw a beautiful cardinal sitting on the adjacent pine treetop.
When I am not present I am definitely not looking at the birds. If I don’t see the birds, how can I see Jesus?
Tears well up in my eyes.
I feel close to God.
I feel nourished.
After my regular Bible reading this morning I didn’t feel much of anything. I felt completely disconnected. I asked this question and put the work in to answer it… After asking God what is different between these two different morning devotional times. The answer is clear… I need to be patient, be still, be present, be aware, ask tough questions, and have a genuine desire and yearning to be with Jesus.
God is with me, I am just not always with Him.